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torture
Why do you torture me when you know I want you so badly? Maybe bc I you first. But you don't get why I you. I can't shake you. You don't even give me the time of day. Its a total enigma. Its not love its not obsession.. I don't need to own you. I don't know what it Is. But its sick. We re sick. You're sick bc you toy with me Im sick bc I can't resist it. But I wnt more from you. day. Today I feel down today I know you're telling me you feel im not good enough for you sexually mentally or emotionally. Maybe I have painted you in my head to be something you're not. And that's the issue. You know nothing about me. Maybe that's why I love this dynamic so much. Maybe its representative of me wanting to change. Those feelings of wanting more from you... yet knowing you're not gonna give it. It just keeps me stuck here in this place. Wanting you the most despite other offers. Chasing a ghost. Fuck for all I know you may not be real. Something I have made up to continue disconnecting from myself.. I am damaged goods I can understand your distaste. I have issues they keep me unfit to know. You trigger something in me... and only you. They say every person comes along to show you something about yourself. Each time its been painful learning something new. I can't figure this one out though. Its empty. im the empty one. I see your beauty. At least that's a gift I can give you that can bring me some happiness from our "Not" connection. I want connection. I really do. I can't though. :(
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