Beautiful housewives wants sex Bentonville Damaged goods? I haven't been on a first date since I was 17. It's not that I'm antisocial or hideously deformed, quite the opposite- I'm extroverted and in my opinion fairly easy on the eyes. I guess I should start with a little about myself. I have a great family; 2 sisters, ones a doctor, the others a CPA who graduated Summa Cum Laude. My brother has a PHD and I graduated with a masters degree. My dad busted his ass so we could all graduate debt free while my mom stayed at home. They made us attend church until confirmation and instilled good values in all of us. Trust me, there is a point to this; when I tell you I can hardly remember two of the last three years I don't want you to think I'm a complete loser.



I met my wife when I was 17. She was in college when we met and from the moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was the one, just being around her made me happy. We were married the summer after I graduated, I was 21. I never thought I'd be looking again, unfortunately all it takes is one person not paying attention and running a red light to take everything from someone. She died three years ago...



The reason I'm writing something this detailed is I want whoever replies this to know what they're getting into.



I didn't take her death well; Who would? I probably took it worse than most though. Shortly after the "accident" I started drinking, a lot. Besides a few benders in college I never drank much so it was out of character for me. I started drinking more and more and more. After a year had passed I was an alcoholic. I went to work for the company I was at right out of college which is the only reason I stayed employed through my... Depression I guess you'd it. Most places wouldn't turn a blind eye to someone walking in 2-4 hrs late hung-over everyday. Example: I was standing in line at the liquor store with a six pack in my hand. The guy behind me had a couple cases and he chuckled at my sixer and said "What's the point of a six pack?" I looked at him and said "This is just for the drive home". It all came to culmination on my moms b-day last year. I woke up the next morning on my parents couch with a splitting headache wondering how I got there. Even worse, my car was parked in the middle of their lawn. It was the best thing that could've happened to me.



When I woke that morning my moms friend was sitting next to me. She asked if I'd like to go to breakfast and talk; I didn't want to but I did anyway. I never listened to anything anybody ever said when they brought up my situation, problems, issues, whatever you want to it. With her it was different; She was diagnosed with a terminal cancer a couple years ago and was told she had about five years to live. She stayed the the night just so she could talk to me when I sobered up. Just the fact that she would waste some of what little time she had on me compelled me to listen to what she had to say. Up to that point I was hoping my life would end sooner than later. She was quite candid about my selfishness and what my actions were doing to my mom, the only other person I love as much as I love(d) my wife. Like I said, people tried to tell me this and other things for 2yrs but when someone who's dying talks people listen. I did anyway. The thing she asked that turned my life around was "What would you want K to do if you were the one in that car?" My answer was: I'd want her to find someone who loved her as much as me and took as good of care as her as I did and to have the family she (we) always wanted. To which she replied "But it's ok for you to defile her memory by drinking yourself to death?" Those words stick with me to this day. That was last last fall and since then I've drank maybe the equivalent of a case of beer. One here and there with friends.



That talk didn't magiy make me want to date again. What it did do was help me put my life back in order. Most of my time now is spent at work, the gym, frolicking with my puppy in the yard, etc, etc. I didn't write this looking for sympathy, me and the Lord know I've had enough of that and it's getting tiring. What I am looking for, what I miss is the intimacy. By definition, intimacy doesn't mean sex. Married wife looking sex Mayville

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