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I'm just a friend. That's all I've ever been, but you don't know me. w4m
     It's been almost 10 months since we began our little "friendship". Sadly, I am so utterly aware of the fact that you were not half as interested in me, as I with you. That may not have been the case initially, but me, being the master saboteur that I am, managed to ruin even the semblance of our once blossoming kinship. 

     It truly was a pleasure to get to know you; 
at least when I shut the hell up and you were given a chance to speak. You never once stepped on my words. I still find your self-restraint remarkable. You maintained an almost Zen-like calm in my presence. Was it a facade? Who knows. Psychoanalyze people all you want; no one really knows anyone, at least, not as well as we know ourselves. 

     I don't feel that I'll ever be able to forgive myself for manipulating you the way I did. I enticed you in with my voice. It's said that the very tone of the voice has a tendency to influence and control character. I definitely used that to my advantage.

     I'm still not absolutely sure if during our multiple late-night conversations, when I would go into one of my nonsensical rants about god knows what, whether or not you were listening to me, or secretly playing Madden or watching your vampire show. Forgive me, as I've yet to see any of the installments of that particular program. I do re you mentioning that the recent influx of man-ass was both gratuitous, as well as a blatant attempt to compromise the artisic integrity of an otherwise brilliant show involving vampires. 

     Actually, now that I think about it, I believe you said that your actual grievance with the show was the unfortunate absence of tits. Less man-ass, more tits.  Maybe one day I will give that show a whirl. It sounds titillating. 

     I feel that although we have drastiy differing opinions about music, which, as petty as it sounds, is normally a cause for concern, but you're just so goddamn enthusiastic about the music you listen to. You listen to it because you genuinely enjoy how it sounds and the emotion it's able to evoke within you. In short, you listen to music for all the right reasons. 

     As opinionated as I am on the subject of music, it would be so very wrong of me to judge you based on your musical taste. I don't think our iPod's share a single song in common.
    
     You're Notorious B.I.G. and I'm Fats Domino. You're Wu-Tang Clan, I'm The Kinks. You're Jay-Z and Kanye, I'm Otis Redding. By the way, that "Otis" song that Jay-Z and Kanye released last summer used a sample of a song that Otis Redding didn't even write. With all due respect, if I was planning to pay homage to one of, if not the greatest soul singer in the history of modern music, I'd make it a point to choose a song written by Otis Redding, as opposed to a song that he'd merely, although brilliantly, covered. Maybe they were trying to be ironic and that notion somehow escaped me. 

    Other than our varying options regarding music, our shared appreciation of Curb Your Enthusiasm, It's Always Sunny and The Wire was pretty damn fantastic. I guess I should take this time to apologize for my incessant quoting of the aforementioned television shows, and then some. I do quote too much. Moderation has never been my forte. 

     Without turning this into a manifesto in which I espouse, in an overly detailed fashion, all of my regrets pertaining to the various instances that I treated you in a wholeheartedly disrespectful manner, I'd just like you to know that you did nothing to warrant my wrath, other than to tell me how you truly felt. You did so with impeccable manners that would make any mother proud, and you remained dignified while doing so. 

     Honestly though, it's a little disheartening that you'd go out of your way to tell me how smart and wonderful I am, and how you'd like to remain in my life, but then when attempts are made on my part to bring a friendly function to fruition, I'm given the brush-off, the cold shoulder; rebuffed.

     I'm just confused as to why you'd go out of your way to advocate this friendship if you have no intention of following through with it. You may not know everything that there is to know about me, but I think it's safe to say that you're aware of my hatred of being patronized. Don't appease me. 

     Tell me in a completely composed manner; stoiy, what you should have told me from the moment we met: (I've taken the liberty of paraphrasing your thoughts. Pretty spot-on, am I right?!)

"I have never been this indifferent towards another human being, but I don't care whether you live or die. You disgust me, but I most certainly will not condescend to you, and in refusing to do so, I come off as neither caring nor cruel. Without the slightest deviation from my aloof countenance, I pity you with my poker face. Honestly, I'd forgotten you ever existed." 

     I'll never forget the time that you ed me "loquacious". That was a superb observation; simply profound. 

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