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You are the most desirable women I've ever known, in all ways. You're beautiful, brilliant, sexy, funny, and unbelievably compassionate. I love you. I have for years. I want you. I can't bear to be in your presence sometimes because it feels desperate, yet I always want to be in your presence. I miss you. It's insane to think about it, because it can't be. I truly don't have the slightest idea if you feel the same. You're so clear to me in so many ways, but in that, there are veils of mist. Perhaps that's just wishful thinking. Wishful for what? It can't happen. We've shared all of the intimate details of our lives, but not that. Not this. Maybe because it only exists in me. I've been holding these feelings, these desires, for years. I was so close to telling you recently . I fear hurting people, so it can't be. I feel being disloyal, disrespectful, a louse. So it can't be. Ultimately, when I put aside these absurd, rationalized notions of nobility and get down to the selfish core, I fear your , and losing the friendship that we have, which is as is. Silence remains.
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